JAN 3, ITHACA, NY – A recent study has confirmed the popular notion that most research studies only confirm popular notions, igniting a war among scientists anxious to justify the billions of dollars the federal government spends each year on science grants.
The furor erupted over a Cornell University effort to gauge how well the scientific community informs the general population about its achievements. A team of Cornell professors collected data about the latest findings of over 500 research facilities, then surveyed over 4,000 people about their awareness of those findings. What they discovered surprised them.
“It was the same thing over and over,” said Dr. Stacie Winters, who led the study. “We’d ask about famous discoveries, like the landmark 2002 finding that linked sugar with hyperactivity in children, and people would say, ‘Duh.’ They weren’t familiar with the research, but they still knew the findings. At first we took it as a sign that scientists are making their successes known among the public, but these people kept saying things like, ‘I’ve known that all my life.’”
“It was weird,” said Cornell professor Alan Smithson. “We asked people about some of the costliest studies from some of the most esteemed institutions in the world, and they were, well, almost derisive. Take the discovery last year that video games improve hand-eye coordination. People claimed they knew that from playing Space Invaders when they were kids. Too much TV leads to poor school performance? They said they couldn’t believe someone got paid to study that. And this year’s discovery that most welfare recipients prefer government checks over minimum-wage jobs?” Smithson winced. “I can’t even repeat what they said to that one.”
Jack Roatham, one of those surveyed, was amused by the Cornell study. “They asked me about all this ridiculous research, like someone who discovered that men use half as many words as women in a day, or that women are attracted to wealthy men. And what was that other one? Oh yeah,” he laughed, “men are attracted to women who are attractive. What a kicker!”
“My favorite was the one about college students and binge drinking,” said Cynthia Anchora, also surveyed. “I mean, just walk around any campus on a Friday night. And someone supposedly discovered that too much time on the internet makes you depressed. Hello, I need some Dr. Schmoe to tell me that?”
“If anyone’s spending too much time on the internet,” Anchora added, “it’s those scientists.”
Originally Winters had hoped her team’s findings would support greater federal aid for research programs. However, ninety-four percent of those surveyed thought researchers should receive less, not more, federal money, prompting her to conclude that the scientific community must do a better job of educating the public about the importance of its work.
That conclusion has met open hostility as scientists across the nation question the validity of the Cornell study.
Dr. Kimberly Pradhaniam, lead nutritionist at the National Institute of Health, has called for an investigation into the Cornell team’s methods. “My colleagues and I spent four years dissecting Happy Meals in a basement lab to prove that McDonald’s is bad for you,” said Pradhaniam. “I’m insulted at the suggestion that the American public does not appreciate our sacrifices.”
Dr. Ronald Ernst, Dean of Research and Development at California Polytechnic Institute, defended the use of federal money to study issues of common sense. “People may think they know certain things, but they don’t know they know them until they’re researched. That’s the leading edge of science today. Of course we could continue discovering things people know nothing about, but that’s yesterday’s science. The hot trend is discovering what you think you know, but don’t know you know.
“For example, take the sky,” Ernst continued. “You know it’s blue – but how do you know? And if you don’t know how you know, do you really know? Maybe it isn’t, it’s not blue. And in reality it isn’t – not until we bring it into a lab and research it.” Ernst added, “You know, there’s probably some serious grant money out there for that.”
The Cornell report concludes with a call for further research. While Winters hypothesized that most studies confirm the obvious because they seek to validate common knowledge only suspected and not known, she acknowledged that her hypothesis itself is only suspected and not known, and must be confirmed by further studies.
In the meantime, the scientific community must come to terms with its poor public perception, a perception which Ernst blames on the public itself: “It’s the age-old problem of all common people, who go through life making assumptions about things. I guess in a way it’s not your fault – you don’t have the diplomas or the research labs we have, so you don’t have much of a choice. But in the end it’d be better for you to wait until we confirm all your assumptions so you really know what to think.”
