what are we holding back?

Then we entered the stadium proper, and the amazement in his eyes made me consider just how much larger this place was than any other he’d seen. Seats swept in both directions so far they grayed with haze. In the tens of thousands, people shifted, churned, the moving sea of a landscape.

“All my life you knew this was happening,” his expression accused, his gaze struggling to take it all in, “and you never showed me?”

Two years one month old had seemed a strapping age for our son’s first baseball game — to us. To him it felt like betrayal. This is the boy who chokes on the bacon he shovels too quickly into his mouth. How dare we hold anything back?

I wonder what other experiences we’ve sheltered him from inadvertently. We try: no TV, regular excursions, playdates with other kids. But what have we missed that we don’t even realize? Parents almost need a checklist of experiences their children should be exposed to within the first two or three years.

Certainly, as a first-time parent of a boy only two years old, I’m no authority. But below is a first stab at creating an experience checklist.

sexual slip-n-slide

A few years ago the issue of same-sex marriage hit front pages, prompting many to argue that expanding the definition of marriage would prove a slippery slope. Conservatives warned that there would be no reason to prevent threesomes, foursomes, or more from marrying legally. Liberals, after a Massachusetts court ruling that favored same-sex marriage, moved beyond homosexuality to discuss the plight of transgendered people.

The slope is slippery, yes — but it’s not moving greatly in the direction of either menage a troi or sex change. The very next sexual standard we’re hammering away at is that of age.

to snip or not to snip?

Furor over male circumcision is rising. Only postmodern hostility toward traditional religion could stir up controversy over a successful public health policy several thousand years old. Still, rather than react against that hostility, it’s important to keep in mind this crucial principle:

Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts.
- from I Corinthians chapter 7

Christians therefore have no legitimate religious motivation for defending circumcision. The battle is strictly secular, and should be left that way.

circum-decision

For the first time since November 2005, a new piece has been posted on theforester.net.

Circum-decision chronicles how my wife and I wavered back and forth for months over whether we would circumcise our son. It stabs at several modes along the way: humorous, informative, philosophical, confessional.

Is it possible to keep a reader's interest in 3,000 words on a topic as unpleasant as circumcision? That's the experiment, as always: if you found this piece blowing around on the street, picked it up and started to read, would you finish it?

Does it succeed? Maybe; maybe not. At least it probes two profound questions about the human condition:

• Shouldn't a son look like his father?
• How could he not?

Enjoy …

suffering the children

Something seems to be missing from the dialogue in this article — a sense that children belong in the public sphere, because they are just as much a part of humanity as adults:

breast milk and diabetes

The benefits of breastfeeding continue — this time for mothers:

BBC: Breastfeeding ‘good for mothers’

Interestingly, the risk of type 2 diabetes reduces more with each breastfed child.

cuddle that kid!

There’s not much room for “tough love” when dealing with a baby. Measures like allowing babies to cry on their own in order to become more independent actually alter their brain chemistry to prevent them from forming healthy relationships later in life:

DailyMail: Lifelong benefits of cuddling your baby

In a flood of health research that tells you to eat healthy, exercise more, take medications, it’s nice to come across a study that advocates nothing more difficult, or more fun, than snuggling with your kid.

infant surprises

Some confirmed, some debunked.

That’s what’s going on with the conventional wisdom about caring for newborns. One article upholds the principle that infants should sleep in their own beds, on their backs, in the same room with their parents — and surprisingly, with a pacifier:

Washington Post: To cut crib deaths, separate beds are urged for babies

Then along comes another article challenging the notion that babies should be introduced only to bland solid foods. Turns out that a diet of foods like rice cereal is so high in sugar, they may be hyping up children’s metabolism and contributing to the obesity rate — as well as opening up avenues for food allergies:

CNN: Doctors challenge baby feeding myths

I wonder how Dr. Spock’s taking the news …

turn off the boob tube

Finally, some definitive studies: “children and adolescents who watched more television had less educational attainment regardless of their intelligence, socioeconomic status or childhood behavioral problems.�

Reuters: TV is bad for children’s education, studies say

This should give the TV-Turnoff Week initiative some teeth.

cellphone sadism

Ignoring the insipid headline (what kind of bullying doesn't go too far?), this article is a sad reminder of how cruel those teenage years can be:

CNET: When 'digital bullying' goes too far

The human imagination is a marvelous thing, able to employ any technology as an instrument of persecution.

video games and violence

Brain scans show a strong connection between violence in video games and in real life:

BBC: Games 'prime brain for violence'

Note, however, the objectors at the end of this article. For some reason, people always defend the idea that we can conveniently compartmentalize our lives. According to fMRI scans, our brains aren't wired that way.

another rite of passage dying

A new bike design transforms from three tires to two the faster a child peddles. It's ingeniously clever and intuitive:

ABC News: New design could transform first bike ride

Still, who can't help but mourn the loss of this universal rite of passage?  As the article begins,

Who can forget the thrill and terror of that first solo bicycle ride: Mom or Dad letting go, the magic of two-wheeled freedom and, inevitably, toppling over in a knee-scraping crash?

"The thrill and terror." Now, sadly, less terror and less thrill.

It makes sense for us to innovate and improve even the simple areas of life. But we should also pause and reflect on what we lose in doing so. As we seek to fill in the deep valleys for our children, we also bring down their highest peaks.

teen angst justified

Yet another study showing that 7:25 am classes are too early for teenage physiology:

LA Times: Too early for teens

Will public school systems act on this growing body of research? No — proving all the more that public schools are less about nurturing students, and more about cost-effective childcare and political boasting.

pandora’s revenge

We're playing with things we don't understand.

Consider this stunning report about the effects of phthalates (found in plastics, cosmetics and paints) on the male reproductive system:

Daily News Central: Pregnancy exposure to common chemical may harm developing boys

Is technological "progress" so great that we should neglect our own health?

toddlers that terrify

Once frozen embryos, now full flesh-and-blood children — those innocent young faces must strike terror into stem-cell research proponents. Embryo adoption is bringing to the forefront, in heart and emotion, exactly what stem cell researchers want you to forget: